legend of Krygo

Ok…here i go.

Krygo the Bull was born, well, on a farm. His dad, a purple sack cow, raised him till he was 5 weeks old. Then the baby Krygo was takin away by an evil scientist who took him home and did experiments on him. Krygo was miserable.

One dark evening the scientist made a terrible mistake. He put Baby Krygo in a cloning machine to see if it works. It worked alright, but made the clone, well, evil. Pure evil. The purest evil you can imagine. The clone killed the scientist, and went off. Baby Krygo was left all alone. He then ventured to a nearby town, where he then knocked on a door.

“Oh my! What do we have here?!” Exlaimed a chubby green creature. The creature was a boy, and he took Baby Krygo into his house. His roomate (A fatter woman which looked like a man) and himself took care of Krygo. He went to school as a young boy would do, and lead a normal first few years living with them with pleasure.

In twelfth grade Krygo was finnaly going to ask his crush out on a date. She was tall, hairy, and looked like a gorrila, but she was RICH!!! He was just about to ask her out, when she slipped on a banana peel and died.

Krygo spoke to himself, “Heh heh heh, I will just take the money in her pockets, and….WOAH! Thats…thats…. 100,000$!!! Cool!” He decided to take it and run. Start a new life! (The creatures died from a tradject hot dog eating contest.) So he Went off into the forest.

Off to set a new life Krygo journeys through thick vines, tall grass, and angry birds…. well not angry birds. He comes apon a house. He goes inside. Before him he sees a sword. Right there for the taking! He touches it and hears a voice, “Get yer greasy paws off my precious stabber!” He sees a little old green lady walk into the room.

“Umm….I was just ummm..,” Krygo said as started to he dart off with the sword. Krygo thought that he was a cool guy for stealing that. He continued walking on a path for a few hours, until he came across a desert.

A tall man wrapped in cloth was sitting on a pile of sand. He said, “If you want to get past you’ll have to complete two tasks. One: Lick a frog. Two: Get a hair from an ostriches armit.”

“Exuse me, why do I have to do this? Cant you just let me past?” Krygo asked.

“Dude? You crazy? Its not every day someone walks up here! I wanna have some fun and torture people!! Heh heh heh!” Explained the Tall man. Krygo set off to find a frog. Nearby there was a bay, filled to the rim with bullfrogs!! Unfortunatly they all had rabies.

“Its never easy,” Krygo mumbled to himself. He got out his sword, and stabbed one. “Actually that was quite easy!” He said. He licked it cause it was dead and could’nt give him rabies. On to the second task! (Which is infinate times harder than licking a frog)

The ostrich is right next to the bay, getting a drink. Krygo creeped up and pulled a hair. The ostriched screamed, then blew up and died. “Wow that was really easy!” Krygo exlaimed.

Krygo went back to the tall man. He got there and was astonished. A giant dragon was standing right infront of him. Krygo heard the tall man’s voice, ” To get past you must complete a third task! Kill this mighty dragon!”

Krygo said to himself, “If this challenge isnt any different than the other two then it is going to be really easy!” Krygo leaped, he slashed and stabbed the ragon in the eye. The dragon stumbled and tripped over a cactus. It was laying on the ground, still alive but hurt. Krygo got ontop and stuck his sword in the heart of the dragon. It died. Krygo said his goodbyes to the tall man and was off to find a new home.

Krygo headed for the city. People were screaming at him and everyone else they saw, you know, its the city! He was walking, when he saw a shiny card on the ground. It said: Lotto card! scratch off to see your winnings! Krygo scratched off and there was a big reward. The reward was 1,000,000$!!!!

A few days later……:) Krygo now had a bodygaurd, a buisness guy, a couple of hot girls to massage him, a master chef, a butler, and to top it all off…A MANSION!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!! His life was great until….

Krygo was a salesman destined for oporotunity. He sold everything from peaches on a stick to bunyin cream! (eeww) There was one little catch though….HE SUCKED at it. He couldnt even sell a juice blender for one cent. He is now trying to be the best salesman in the world!! Atleast he dreams!

As soon as he had the idea set he was thinking, “I might have to take some drastic measures” So he sold everything he owned and got…. 5 cents. Then he thought if he kills himself and goes to heaven….you can do whatever you want in heaven!! He could be the best salesman EVER!!!

He was walking to a busy corner, (trying to get trampled) when he fell in a manhole. A deep one……really deep……so deep that if you scream no one will hear you! Yeah, that deep! He fell onto something slimy…… really slimy… so slimy you could bathe in the slime! Yeah, that slimy!

The slimy thing was floating down a sewer river. It then crashed into a bank. Krygo fell off. The slimy thing, which was a log, fell down a huge waterfall tye thing. Hefelt a switch on the wall. He flicked it, and lights went on everywhere. Below the waterfall was a huge underground city! “Probably filled with Mole-people!” Krygo said as he tried to get down there.

He fell into the city. There were evil-looking monsters, and goo blobs, and monsters with…you get the point. Monsters and goo. Krygo didnt like monsters or goo or slime or nasty things like spiders or bees or wasps or any bugs at all or octopuses or a six legged dog. Mainly things with more than four legs. Then a giant monster picked him up.

“Get off me you #%$^$^&^*%#%#@#^#@!@#^&!!!! you friggin @%$#&*!! You dont touch ME!!! You apple licken turd face that sucks lemons ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF A MOUNTAINTOP!!!!!!!” Krygo screamed. The monster was astonished. He had never heard such FOWL language before! He threw Krygo out of the sewer and into an ocean.

Once he was in the ocean he spotted an island. He struggled to get there, but he managed. There he found a relatively young woman. About 21 years old. She said she has been there since she was 19. There was civilisation nearby packed with people. Unfortunatly she couldnt swim, so Krygo carried her.

They kept on swimming, well actually Krygo was, until they came upon a shark. It said, “I will eat you for dinner, little bull creature!” Krygo thought for a moment. He had a plan. It wasnt a pretty one either.

“Ok ok ok,” Krygo said, “but wouldnt you rather have a more…… tender snack, instead of me? I have horns. THEY WOULD HURT. So i think you should eat this girl.” Krygo showed the shark they woman. He went right ahead and chomped her. All that was left was a bra.

Once in the city he is walking the streats. He saw a green thing lying on the sidewalk. It was an one thousand dollar bill! (Have you noticed that Krygo is very lucky?) He also finds a gun. Unfortunatly a familiar face is holding it. He noticed this creature also was a bull. He was white and black, and had a round face. He remembered who it was. It was his clone.

The twin spoke, ” I will kill you. You will then be my slave for all eternity!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!” Krygo didnt stand a chance. He had no weapons…… wait……! Just then he let out the worst fart you can think off. (yeah gross) The twin got knocked out from the stench. He wouldnt be down for long, so Krygo ran.

He came across a strange land filled with golden rings that floated, and giant loop-dee-loops. There were spike pits and giant springs. He noticed a blue creature. it was running really fast. Krygo was trying to catch up. He then saw that the blue creauture jumped on a spring. Krygo didnt see where it went. Krygo is afraid of heights so he skipped it. He came apon a golden ring. He took it. It didnt do anything.

Then he found a pit. A pit of spikes. There was a platform moving back and forth. To one side then the other. Krygo jumped on it. It took him to the other side. Just then the blue creature apeared out of nowhere. “Hi, who are you?” Krygo asked.

“Sorry, Im busy. I need to kill the boss.” It said in a hurry as it took off. Krygo followed. He followed him to a point where he saw the blue creature attacking something. It was the twin! He was riding a big floaty machine that swings a mace! Krygo jumped on its head. Krygo noticed the twin wasnt dead.

“MUHAHAHA!!!!!!! Dont you know it takes more than one hit to KILL A BOSS??” The twin yelled. Out of nowhere the blue creature turned into a rozor blade thing and went right through the twin. He killed him. Or so Krygo thought.

“Great job defeting that boss! By the way, Im So-” The creature was saying, but before he could say his name he fell off a cliff. The twin was at the bottom of it. Still alive. Krygo lost his balance and fell. He managed to hang on to the edge of the cliff. (See cover of Krygo#1)

Luckily he still had the rings. All of a sudden he started to fly. He was driffting merrily when….BANG!!!! He was being shot at by the twin. Krygo got away safely, but he didnt notice he was heading strait for a volcanoe!!

“Oh no!! That volcanoe will kill me!!” He said, “Oh yeah! I want to kill myself! DUH!” He tried to control the way he went, but it didnt work, so he dropped into the volcanoe. He was going to die. Never to be seen again. The Krygo books are over..

“Here we go!!!” Krygo yelled as he dropped. About to kill himself, a burst of lava shoots into the air, flinging him around the world, into Japan. Krygo landed in the urban city of Japan. He noticed a very ugly, fake, japanese dragon. Krygo went over to ask if a place to get food was around. He was starving! Just then he saw something in the air.

He saw a bird. A pelican bird…. with a gun!! (Thats not a good combo) The pelican started shooting the crap out of everyone. He even killed the dragon. He nearly blew up Japan!* *note that no Japans were hurt.

A local Japan butcher saw the pelican killing everyone, and called 911. The pelican, Krygo, the butcher, and pelican’s lawer were in court. “Now the complaint is from the butcher. He says the pelican was killing everyone! Is this true, Mr. Pelican?” Said the judge sternly.

“Umm…….. ummmm…… UMMM…. no,” The pelican replied. It looked at its lawer. He looked scared. Krygo got up, and said, “Mr. umm… Mr. Pelican, I am a witness, as you can see. I saw you, with my naked eyes, kill the dragon and many locals. I dont know what goes through your little mind, but I think you comitted a crime. To me, it seems as your… guilty.”

The pelican was shocked. “Mr. Pelican, if that is your REAL name,” The judge said, ” I declare you guilty. You owe 300 years in PRISON!! MUHAHAHA! Im so cool.” Krygo then left the city. He took a plane to the U.S.A.

He got off the plane, and started walking. Walking nowhere. He continued walking until he came across a farm. He also found (another) sword. He was practicing tactics in it, then came the bad part. A human came into the scene with a handheld shotgun.

“Get away you fricken devil!” It said.

Krygo said to himself, “devil…? IM NOT A DEVIL!” Then Krygo started charging angrily at the human. The human imediantly shot his gun. It was a tranquilizer. Krygo was asleep.

The human took Krygo to a circus. He was selling Krygo to be a circus “freak”. A carny type thing. The human sold Krygo for 30000000000 dollars to the ringmaster. Krygo was shocked. He saw so little weird things. He only saw a Jack-in-the-box clown, and a walrus/duck thingy.(see cover of Krygo#2)

“Howdy,” said Krygo, “Im Krygo. For now on Walrus is named Toothache, and that friggin jack in da box is…. umm… Failure. Got it?” They both agreed. “Now were gonna escape out of here tonight. Ive got a plan. Toothache, you and Failure have matches, right?”

The next day they were doing a show. “ladies and gentlemen, may I present the most talented person on the planet!: RING-MASTER BOB!!!”Said the announcer. Just as Bob was going on-stage Failure lit him on fire.

“GO GO GO!!!” Krygo screamed. They got outside, and headed for a park.

“thanks alot Krygo, Toothache said. “No problem!” “A little town is over there! (points notheast) Have a good life!” failure said as they all walked on in different directions.

Krygo came across the town. “Get down!” Said a voice. A rocket flies by his head, hits a wall, and blows up. “You could’ve been killed, Dont’cha know? Its war here….Just war,” Said an Elderly Beaver faced muskrat, “These will help you survive.” he hands krygo armor and a gun, and says, ” Shoots darts! Injects poison!” In Krygo’s mind he knew he was ready for anything.

 

“The evil leader monster is a gooey beast with 12 legs and a magic wand…… Hey, there it is now!” Said the Muskrat. BAM! BAM! BAM!…. Krygo shot at it with the pistol. Didnt effect. “Puny creature!” It said as Krygo threw a grenade at it. He killed the leader, but the explosion was big so it flung him into another dimension.

Krygo landed with a quick THUMP! He got up, dusted his pants off, and looked around. He couldnt belive his eyes. CANDYLAND. ” CANDYLAND!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRTGGGHGFDUGHHCDBJHCBCSJDEGCJHDbh OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD!! I CANT BELIVE IT! BOOGIDA SWEETNESS!!” Krygo Yelled in a sad kind of yell, ” I thought this place was only imaginable in my dreams! ….. Oh my god… im… im.. weaping tears of joy!”

Then Krygo noticed something in the distance. He peered through his hands because the butterscotch sun was too bright. “Hey its…. Oh no.. Its…Failure. Crud.” All of a sudden he felt as if he wanted to tear his eyes out and fill his eye holes up with thermometor mecury.

Once he saw Krygo he was all like, ” yo, wassup???!!! i havent seen you in like 5 years man! where ya been?!” Krygo was kinda annoyed at failures question he said, “your an idiot. last time i saw you was like30 minutes ago. fricken retard. by the way, where is the other idiot, toothache?”

Failure had a dreaded look in his eyes. he replied, “he died. all of the candy here got to his head, he went crazy and blew his brains out.” Krygo was baffled, “holy shit. wow. toothache. man….”

Failure had a happy look now. he said, “just kiddin. that wierd looking guy over there who kinda reminds me of you brainwashed him to becoming his evil minion or something.”

Krygo was pissed, but when he turned around to see who Failure was talking about his senses froze and he became aware that he might actually die today….

Standing behind them both was Krygo’s twin/clone, and a brainwashed Toothache. “OMFG!” Krygo yelled. Krygo’s twin/clone was pretty angry from the last time Krygo saw him.(remember? When they were in the green hills zone? Krygo flew away using the power ring? yeah, good times)

But, the thing Krygo was really afraid of was behind both Toothache and the twin/clone. It was a GIANT TANK. The Brainwashed Toothache announced, “This is the almighty XYPHOR, Krygo’s TWIN/CLONE! and BEHIND US IS THE SECONG MOST POWERFULL THING HERE (besides Xyphor), THE SPANK TANK!!!!! MUHAHAHHAHAH”

at that moment Krygo was now unafraid. spank tank was the lamest name possible, so Krygo knew he could defeat it. Krygo got out his gun, and aimed for Xyphor. he shot, and accidentaly hit Toothache. The tank started shooting missles, and Krygo and Failure were running away, but then they noticed they werent running anymore on the cloud surface of candy land…….

Yeah, you guessed it, Krygo and Failure fell off candy land. they fell and fell until they SMACKED! into the earth’s surface. Krygo managed to stay alive becuz he landed in FLUFFY WUFFY pillows. but Failure exploded. “WHY??? WHY ME???” Failure asked. Then Failure drifeted off to the big catbox in the sky.

Then Krygo noticed something in Failure’s box. “OMG 1,000 $$$!!!!” but when Krygo went to pick it up, it caught on fire. Krygo was soo mad he was about to cry. He was tired of trying to kill himself. He now relized he wanted to do something in life. He wanted to become:::::: AN ADVENTURER!!!!!!!

So, krygo went into the next cool place to adventure that he saw. unluckily there was a beat up, torn apart, spooky looking, Blue house right across the street. So, Krygo went in.

Inside he heard voices…… they wear very …StRaNgE… they said, “KrIsToPhEr RoBiN!! wHeRe’S mY HHUUUNNNYYY?!!” Krygo was gonna crap himself.

WANT MORE??!! then tell me how much u like Krygo below, and I might just slip u another juicy Section of: LEGEND OF KRYGO!!